Stephen van Beek MA (Tripos), CMC, DCTP, Member CAPT

Sea Anchors

Recently a bright young woman whose family life had been somewhat stormy described to me how much an idea I had offered had altered her view of her life. 

I had mentioned that psychic processes often linger longer than we need them, like forgotten sea anchors. She wanted to know why I had used that term. She told me she had consciously lifted up all the anchors that were weighing her down through some conscious choices about relationships, work, and schooling, but had never heard about a 'sea anchor' before. 

A sea anchor helped sailing vessels to offset the push of wind and current when there is no safe anchorage, no haven, nothing to cling to in the deep. 

Extra sails were simply bundled up and let out from the bows on a very long line. As the sails get waterlogged they slowly submerge along with the line, to counter-balance the force of waves. The anchor point becomes the sea itself. Once it is fully extended, you lose sight of the anchor as the line disappears into the sea. It's like an emergency brake on the back wheels of a car, working out of sight.

Our minds are our own oceans. When there is great turmoil our self-preservative mind takes action to manage the dangers we face. Our emergency responses to the negative things that are happening to us makes us immediately improvise unique psychic sea-anchors to tide us through a crisis. 

When the danger has subsided, the obvious thing to do is to haul in the line and put the sea anchor away, but in psychic life it is not so simple. We tend not to realize we have got a sea anchor out there to calm the rough and angry seas that threaten us when we did not have an adequate safe haven or a point of anchorage. Made as we are for survival, we must do whatever we can to ensure that we survive, so we throw out a sea anchor for the time being.

Then we 'forget' about it, because it slows but rarely stops all forward momentum, though it reduces our freedom. Someone recently discovered that one of her rear brake pads was always chafing on the drum; she had been complaining of low mileage, but for a long time thought it was an unconquerable ‘fact’ of her existence.

And the stronger the response in our current lives, the more likely it is that an old sea anchor is making its presence felt again. A sudden shift in mood is usually a strong indicator that a forgotten sea anchor is impeding the mind. We aren’t able to listen to reason, even our own, or to take in new emotional truths when the old danger is re-invoked without our conscious knowledge.

Fortunately my client did not entirely believe all her own reaction patterns; she thought therapy might help her. The sea anchor image made her realize that the surface memories of what had gone wrong in her earlier life were not the whole story. When she started to let herself reflect on things that were sea anchoring her she discovered several interconnected memories and associations that were underneath the surface, and which she was now ready to abandon. They had helped her at the time, but were now slowing her down. 

There are many psychic sea anchors submerged in the deeper parts of the psyche. When out of sight, we become used to the ‘way it has always been’. Here are some of the more common sea-anchor messages we tell ourselves:

• You can’t trust anyone but your self
• There’s no hope
• Everyone is out for themselves
• Love is an illusion
• People want your stuff, not you
• It’s not my fault, it’s hers/his
• I was well-treated as a child
• My parents loved each other
• I was just unlucky
• People like me are unlovable
• It’s a bad thing to be successful
• Happiness is beyond me
• Pessimism is realistic
• I am ugly
• I am stupid
• I am a loser
• Frustration is just reality

Imaginative individuals appear to be more open to spotting their anchors, almost as though this were a game. That’s a good solution, in fact, since once we spot our anchors we can use them as powerful clues in learning why we used a particular defensive strategy, and what the circumstances were that led us to that specific choice. 

It’s interesting that the word ‘analysis’, often used in therapy, is itself a nautical term. In the old days before ships could slant their sails to catch the wind, sailors would get into the wind with the ship still tied to the shore, filling the sails with the power needed to get going. Then, the anchoring ropes would be let off and the ship would spring forward, gaining speed as it overcame its inertia. 

The word used to describe this action of loosening and untying was simply ‘analysis’, that action of setting loose and free. The action of getting moving at last! 

I like ‘analysis’ as a goal of therapy. In therapy we look back to find the old ties that bind us, but we also look forward to set a fresh new course. We need to honour and respect the defence structures, the sea-anchors, that kept us safe long enough for us to find our way into therapy where we can unburden ourselves of them. Defences defend us when we need them, and their only drawback is that we forget we are using them needlessly.

How elating it is to experience that whoosh of relief and vitality that comes when we can let ourselves trust in the wind of life and the currents of change!